you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
