My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
