I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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