You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
