Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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