billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
