R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
