put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
