Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
