I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
