fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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