Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
