I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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