Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
