remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
