I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize
