My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize