Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
