wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
