just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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