What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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