I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
