PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
