so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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