I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
