he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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