you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
