Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
