go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
