The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just high enough for therapy.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
True strength comes from lack of pants
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
