I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
