If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
