do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
