i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
