if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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