Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
