This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
