called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
