Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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