so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize