Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
