I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
