I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
