girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
