I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
