I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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