he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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