It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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