watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
