i just google imaged poop.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
