So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
