I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
