so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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