Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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