i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
