He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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