Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
