Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
