Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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