My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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