Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
