i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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