Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize