Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
