my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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