i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize