goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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