marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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