Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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