you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
