I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
