So drunk its hurt
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
